In the turn of the new season, the weather turning here and there from rain to shine, there are lingering energies that have yet to find its home. Lately, there have been days where although I feel like I’m in the right place, my mindset is in the wrong. It is a given that everything constantly changes, nothing stays permanent. But how can we train our minds to stay consistent and healthy through all lifes transformations? It’s always a topic I feel the need to google to find answers for, and after multiple click searches and trials and errors, I have stuck to a resolution that I don’t only find helpful, but spiritually stimulating as I go through the course of changes.
There will be days that I will just feel sad, with no ultimate reasoning that I see off the bat. I have to give myself space and time to figure it all out. I carry on with the day with the conscious notion of what I am feeling, remembering that my perspective and feelings are skewed due to the fact of my imbalanced spirit. I endure through the day (sometimes weeks) by approaching it in a clearer understanding that whatever I am feeling is a natural cause, that my anxiety is caused by my body protecting me from unforeseeable events.
Whenever I feel the droopy clouds above my head, I breathe in, and as I breathe out I recognize the disproportion within my mood. Although I instantaneously recognize it, more times than none, I don’t particularly understand it. Therefore, I allow myself time to do so. I do my best in mental training by not overthinking situations, but still giving them ample amount of time for reflection. I give myself the option to either go to the park, or any open field granting me the space and time to FEEL. Feel all that is needed to overcome the unwanted energy and accept the greater possibilities. With every breathe in, I welcome the good, I stick to my core and let my breathing ground me, and with every exhale is the release of the negativity that loiter in the empty pockets of my mind and spirit.
A few days ago, I had a misunderstanding with my significant other. Without going through too much of the details of the exchange, the debate was catalyzed by the lack of spiritual alignment on both parties. Stress from work, personal deadlines, and the absence of sleep are natural hindrances to a healthy communicative relationship. After a few (for a lack of a better term,) “bitch moments” from me, and ”assholiness” from him, he suggested we take a walk. It’s a small routinely act that we do when we are feeling unlike ourselves.
It was almost midnight when we walked side by side, drowning our egos with our silence. Our mood and mind slowly mimicking the night time, clear and blue. We walked around the block peacefully, with little comments of apologetic descent on my part, and a complete sense of serenity on his. As we reach it back to the house, we breathe out and we let our emotions run steady. Without saying much, our eyes locked which served as a direct apology to our previous actions.
Speaking for myself, the walk was a time to let go of stubborn feelings that are holding me back from communicating. From seeking my own truth, I get to understand the role I play in other relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic. By understanding myself more, by being in tune with my mind, body and spirit, I open myself up to be aware of the changes and everything that proceeds thereafter, are initially reacted based on prior knowledge of my state of mind. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything that is unnecessary and we forget what truly matters, by taking the moment to breath I am slowly letting go of the unwanted energy, thus opening myself up to what truly counts— peace.